It's been a pretty interesting past week and alot has happened. First and foremost, though, I want to talk a bit about Thanksgiving and get a little bit sappy.
Thanksgiving comes and goes annually with family, food, football, friends, and all the rest. Each year, we go through the exercise of listing out that for which we are thankful and appreciating all that we have within our world. This year I have so much to be thankful for that it blows my mind. It is hard for me to put into words how incredibly grateful I am to have such wonderful friends and family who continue to help me through my current situation with laughter, support, tears, and more generosity of spirit than I thought possible.
From the day I found out I had breast cancer, my feet have not touched the ground. I feel that I am floating on the shoulders of all the people who continue to support me and send thoughts and prayers my way. Someday, I hope to be able to convey my deep gratitude and thanks in a manner which is truly felt by everyone. Until then, please know how loved and lucky I feel to have so much love in my world.
Another thing that I am truly grateful for is my health. I have thought a great deal about this and I don't mean it to come across as sarcastic in any way. I am so thankful that what I am working with is treatable and fixable, and that I don't have any underlying complications to work around. I am one of the lucky ones. For this I will be forever grateful and I will work every day to appreciate my body and my health in a new way.
My parents came down for Thanksgiving and I am thrilled they are here. I had my second chemotherapy treatment on Tuesday, so I have been spending most of my time laying on the couch or in bed as this round wiped me out a bit. Still, no nausea or sickness, which is great. However, I am just exhausted.
This treatment schedule added a new twist - a shot called Neulastra (I believe) which is designed to boost my bone marrow production and therefore increase my white blood cell count so that it doesn't get as dangerously low as it did the last time. Hopefully, this will allow me to avoid a hospital stay and not get quite as run down. So, we'll see how it goes and hope for the best!
The most significant change to me is my hair. It's all gone. And I now understand stocking caps on a completely different level - the necessity level.
Last week in the hospital, I felt the soreness, etc, that signaled upcoming hair loss. I was a bit nervous - I wasn't sure how I would handle pulling hair out of my head. I had visions of bursting into tears or completely freaking out and wanting it all off RIGHT NOW!! But what actually happened was different.
I noticed a few random hairs on Friday morning, then reached up and pulled out a good sized hairs out of my head. Instead of crying, I was more interested in the quantity of hair and where they came from. So I started pulling more from different areas and they just kept coming! So I then got dressed and went outside to see how many I could pull out on my own - there was a nice breeze, the sun was shining, and I was hoping that my hair could somehow be recycled into nests for birds. I felt a certain satisfaction when I pulled out a larger clump than a smaller one and would try to match the large chunk again the next time. I soon decided to pull my hair up in a pony tail so as to not have all my fun at once.
Later that night, I ran my hands through my hair and it was noticeably thinner, and that's what bothered me. Not the pulling out of the hair, but rather the feeling of it being gone. That was much more uncomfortable to me and I decided I wanted to take care of it myself.
A quick side note here to my awesome friend KJ who called me on Friday night to tell me she is shaving her head RIGHT NOW because she can! We laughed and I felt so privileged that she would do this for me and it helped me make the decision to shave it all off.
So my friend Erik showed up on Saturday morning with his full clipper set and we went to town on my hair. I only cried once as I put my hand up to my forehead as the hair fell down around my chair. I was proud of myself to be doing this, proud to have Erik helping me with it, and scared of what it would look like. Erik and I quickly agreed that the mohawk look wasn't my thing, so it all came off. Wow. That was crazy.
I will post a pic up when I get them on the computer. So far, I am getting much more used to the look, thanks to everyone's supportive verbiage. Hats, though, are key I believe. My head gets pretty cold pretty quickly.
I hope that everyone reading this had a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday and took just a few minutes to give thanks for all the love and life around you.
Talk to you soon,
Carrie
Friday, November 27, 2009
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Morphine and Ice Cream
I'm back.
I'm eating again as well. My mouth is healing quickly as my neutrophil count increases and I swear that I will never take my mouth for granted again. Wow - that was amazingly painful and unnerving.
I was doing great until after dinner on Friday night when I started to have some stomach issues, then started to get a fever, which went away a few hours later. Saturday I stayed in bed as I could feel myself getting sick and knew from talking to the nurse that my counts were at their lowest. The nurse also made it clear that I would be apt to catch anything I came into contact with and that if my fever went above 100 that I should probably go into the ER. My mouth started to get much more painful, so I ate Jello and an ice cream until trying out some mac & cheese at dinner time. My throat started to get sore that night and my fever came back higher - from anywhere to 99.8 to 100.8. The on-call oncologist (ha!) said to stay home as I wasn't shaking or shivering, and my fever went back down. I thought I was in the clear.
That is, until Kelly called on Sunday. "Why didn't you go into the hospital?!" "Because the doctor said I would be fine." "Who did you talk to?" "The on call oncologist (ha)." "That can't be right. I think you should go in." ... 5 minute time delay... "Jenny is on her way over to bring you to the ER. I called today's on-call doctor and he said to come in immediately. I can't believe that you didn't go in last night - why didn't you call me? I would have told you to go in!"
So Jenny shows up at my door with bags of groceries that can either be put into a blender for a smoothie, popsicles, fudge-sicles, a smattering of healthy soy things, and a squash (which is not going into a smoothie under any circumstances). At this point I am very glad to be going to the hospital. I can hardly talk because it requires mouth movement and am out of the only food I can eat - Jello.
Long story short - Kelly was right. I really needed to be in the hospital as my counts were freakishly low - much lower than the doctors had expected they drop to and much lower than is safe. So, they admitted me into a special "girl in the bubble" room until my counts went up, which they expected to be 3-4 days. I spent three nights there in all.
Maybe I'm strange - people think I'm joking when I tell them how much I like airports. I can also say that I like hospitals. Maybe it's just Abbott. I don't know. But I really feel comfortable there, well cared for, and that I'm getting the treatments I need to feel better. The nurses are fantastic, the doctors I have been in contact with are great, and I have my own room. Plus, they bring me food. AND the nurses bring me ice cream.
One example of why I love the hospital...
"Good morning Carrie - how are you feeling?"
"Good morning - I'm ok - my mouth is kinda sore... May I please have a shot of morphine?"
"Sure! Let me go grab that - is there anything else I can get for you? Are you hungry?"
"Um... do you have any raspberry sherbet?"
"Yep - I'll be right back."
Sweet.
My mom drove down on Sunday and hung out at the hospital with me during the day. When I got home, my mouth was feeling a great deal better, though not totally healed. I was able to eat soft foods easier, so mom heated up some homemade soup and made me a grilled cheese sandwich - I gummed down two bowls and a second sandwich. Oh food, how I missed you.
I am now basically quarantined to my house and the outdoors - no enclosed public buildings that may have cooties. No restaurants or stores or anyplace fun. I am ok with this as I have a greater understanding of how vulnerable I am right now and respect that.
One lesson I have learned this past week is that I am not in control of my body right now and I need to understand and accept that. No matter how positive my attitude is or how many Tylenol I take, my body is going through changes that I cannot control. I am learning to work with the changes, but I need to respect that I am not as strong as I am accustomed to being and cannot respond to these changes as I would normally respond to others.
I had a hard time with that this week - maybe a tougher time with this concept than the overall fact that I have breast cancer. Having cancer, to me, was a diagnosis with a solution and an end date. I had options, I chose my option. I had doctor appointments, which I went to. I had surgery, and recovered. I need chemotherapy, which I started. I got sick, and that's where I got lost. It freaked me out a bit that my body isn't reacting to the treatments as well as I thought it would. I thought that being young and healthy would allow me to ease my way through this without too much change. I knew I would lose my hair and that I would get a bit sick, but I wasn't prepared for my body to stop working on my behalf. Now I know more, and will care for it accordingly.
So, I'll be at home. Chillin' with the 'Lil Bigs. (That's my dog, Bixby;) I might even get Ginger for the weekend. (I call her 'Lil Jiggs, only because it rhymes. She's not little, or jiggly.)
Random thought - I wonder if anyone named their pet Chemo? I know a Kila, and a Nemo... maybe if you spelled it with a K - Kemo? It's a cool sounding word, but maybe strange connotations... hm. I'll ask Alice... when she's ten feet tall...
Carrie
I'm eating again as well. My mouth is healing quickly as my neutrophil count increases and I swear that I will never take my mouth for granted again. Wow - that was amazingly painful and unnerving.
I was doing great until after dinner on Friday night when I started to have some stomach issues, then started to get a fever, which went away a few hours later. Saturday I stayed in bed as I could feel myself getting sick and knew from talking to the nurse that my counts were at their lowest. The nurse also made it clear that I would be apt to catch anything I came into contact with and that if my fever went above 100 that I should probably go into the ER. My mouth started to get much more painful, so I ate Jello and an ice cream until trying out some mac & cheese at dinner time. My throat started to get sore that night and my fever came back higher - from anywhere to 99.8 to 100.8. The on-call oncologist (ha!) said to stay home as I wasn't shaking or shivering, and my fever went back down. I thought I was in the clear.
That is, until Kelly called on Sunday. "Why didn't you go into the hospital?!" "Because the doctor said I would be fine." "Who did you talk to?" "The on call oncologist (ha)." "That can't be right. I think you should go in." ... 5 minute time delay... "Jenny is on her way over to bring you to the ER. I called today's on-call doctor and he said to come in immediately. I can't believe that you didn't go in last night - why didn't you call me? I would have told you to go in!"
So Jenny shows up at my door with bags of groceries that can either be put into a blender for a smoothie, popsicles, fudge-sicles, a smattering of healthy soy things, and a squash (which is not going into a smoothie under any circumstances). At this point I am very glad to be going to the hospital. I can hardly talk because it requires mouth movement and am out of the only food I can eat - Jello.
Long story short - Kelly was right. I really needed to be in the hospital as my counts were freakishly low - much lower than the doctors had expected they drop to and much lower than is safe. So, they admitted me into a special "girl in the bubble" room until my counts went up, which they expected to be 3-4 days. I spent three nights there in all.
Maybe I'm strange - people think I'm joking when I tell them how much I like airports. I can also say that I like hospitals. Maybe it's just Abbott. I don't know. But I really feel comfortable there, well cared for, and that I'm getting the treatments I need to feel better. The nurses are fantastic, the doctors I have been in contact with are great, and I have my own room. Plus, they bring me food. AND the nurses bring me ice cream.
One example of why I love the hospital...
"Good morning Carrie - how are you feeling?"
"Good morning - I'm ok - my mouth is kinda sore... May I please have a shot of morphine?"
"Sure! Let me go grab that - is there anything else I can get for you? Are you hungry?"
"Um... do you have any raspberry sherbet?"
"Yep - I'll be right back."
Sweet.
My mom drove down on Sunday and hung out at the hospital with me during the day. When I got home, my mouth was feeling a great deal better, though not totally healed. I was able to eat soft foods easier, so mom heated up some homemade soup and made me a grilled cheese sandwich - I gummed down two bowls and a second sandwich. Oh food, how I missed you.
I am now basically quarantined to my house and the outdoors - no enclosed public buildings that may have cooties. No restaurants or stores or anyplace fun. I am ok with this as I have a greater understanding of how vulnerable I am right now and respect that.
One lesson I have learned this past week is that I am not in control of my body right now and I need to understand and accept that. No matter how positive my attitude is or how many Tylenol I take, my body is going through changes that I cannot control. I am learning to work with the changes, but I need to respect that I am not as strong as I am accustomed to being and cannot respond to these changes as I would normally respond to others.
I had a hard time with that this week - maybe a tougher time with this concept than the overall fact that I have breast cancer. Having cancer, to me, was a diagnosis with a solution and an end date. I had options, I chose my option. I had doctor appointments, which I went to. I had surgery, and recovered. I need chemotherapy, which I started. I got sick, and that's where I got lost. It freaked me out a bit that my body isn't reacting to the treatments as well as I thought it would. I thought that being young and healthy would allow me to ease my way through this without too much change. I knew I would lose my hair and that I would get a bit sick, but I wasn't prepared for my body to stop working on my behalf. Now I know more, and will care for it accordingly.
So, I'll be at home. Chillin' with the 'Lil Bigs. (That's my dog, Bixby;) I might even get Ginger for the weekend. (I call her 'Lil Jiggs, only because it rhymes. She's not little, or jiggly.)
Random thought - I wonder if anyone named their pet Chemo? I know a Kila, and a Nemo... maybe if you spelled it with a K - Kemo? It's a cool sounding word, but maybe strange connotations... hm. I'll ask Alice... when she's ten feet tall...
Carrie
Home from the Hospital
Carrie was able to come home from the hospital yesterday. Her white blood cell count was still low at 1.9, but her neutrophils were up to 300/1000. This is still low, so she is not able to leave her house and can't be around anyone that has been sick. Her mouth is starting to feel better and she has antibiotics to take to continue to help fight any infection. She is happy to be back home & her oncologist will be giving her an injection to help boost her white blood cell count before her next chemo treatments. She is feeling much better than when she went in last Sunday. Thanks for all of the get well wishes!
Monday, November 16, 2009
Chemo Rears It's Ugly Head
Unfortunately the chemo side effects have caught up with Carrie. She had a rough weekend and was in quite a bit of pain from throat, mouth, tongue & gum sores. Her fever spiked a few times this weekend and she was having trouble eating and swallowing, so the on-call doctor on Sunday told her to go to the emergency room. She found out her counts was extremely low, and they admitted her into the hospital where she will most likely be for 3-4 days. The thought was that the sores in her mouth were also in her GI tract, which could have caused a tear or an infection. They have been keeping her on IV antibiotics to help stop any potential infection & gave her morphine & magic mouthwash for her mouth soreness. Today her neutophil count (key component in the body's fight against disease & infection) is up to 120 out of 1000. When she was admitted to the hospital, she was at 50 and they are hoping to get her up above 500 before she gets released. Her white blood cells were still down this morning, but went up from 1.2 yesterday to 2.0 this afternoon. Her potassium levels were also down so they have given her potassium supplements. She is at Abbott and is able to have visitors, although the doctor requested that if you or anyone you know has been sick or had any symptoms of sickness, to please refrain from visiting. Carrie is extremely susceptible to disease and infection right now and can't take any risks. She is in an area of the hospital that has filtered air, a sealed door and is kept as germ-free as possible. If you do visit, the doctor asked to please use the sink outside of her room to wash your hands and use the anti-bacterial soap before you go into her room. Amazingly, she still has a great attitude and thanks everyone for their thoughts and prayers! Please feel free to email or call me with any questions: kelly.cruz@gmail.com or 612-269-0659. Thanks!
Thursday, November 12, 2009
The Week After My First Go-'Round
I have been trying for the past week to pinpoint what drug/treatment/hormone issues are causing various results without success. Things are definitely happening throughout my body, however, and I'm creepily fascinated with the weirdness.
So, to quickly recap. Within a 7 day time frame I had a shot to shut down my ovaries and push me into hot flashes, a surgery to implant a port, a boob fill, and my first chemo treatment. I also took three days of steroids, three days of anti-nausea meds plus a smattering of another anti-nausea med as needed, and a super-human dosage of Vitamin D. I think that's all. The hormone issues, to the best of my knowledge, kicked in on Friday at what I think is the same time as the chemo. I have no way to prove this. However, the result was one. crabby. chica.
I can't even say for sure if my reaction over the first few days was physical or mental. A week out, I am apt to say both as I have no doubt that physically I am noticing differences. On Friday I was generally tired and lazy, but expected to be and gave in easily. Friday night was a different story all together. That was my first bout with the "night sweats" or whatever those evil things are called. I was sweating bullets, opening the window, closing the window, turning on the ceiling fan, turning off the ceiling fan, trying to lay on the dry part of the bed... My aunt had warned me about the hot flashes and that they weren't fun - she swears her eyeglasses fog up when she gets them. I had had night sweats before when I was sick, but this wasn't fun. I feel closer to my aunts now - in fact I feel closer to everyone's aunts for that matter.
The anti-nausea medication they had given me was awesome - I wasn't nauseous. Food wasn't tasting the same - and it didn't have the same appeal - but again I am not sure if that's more mental. The physical certainty I have that chemicals are indeed streaming through my body is that the plumbing isn't working as I have taken for granted. I'm not going into great detail here - I trust you get the point. My skin is also turning against me. I hope it's temporary.
They had also talked in the info sessions about the inside of my mouth becoming sensitive - and this just started last night. The entire inside of my mouth feels very strange - and today it got more pronounced and not quite painful, but uncomfortable. It doesn't really hurt as much as it's just not right. It reminds me of burning the roof of my mouth on pizza and the resulting effects, but without the burn pain and all over rather than just the roof. After I ate lunch, it felt unwell.
(Unwell. This is my new favorite adjective. Kelly was driving me home from surgery last week and she asked me if I was ok. I wasn't sure how to answer that because I wasn't ok, but wasn't not ok. I was struggling to find a word - "Um... I'm... Hmm..." "Unwell?" "Yep. Exactly.")
My mom came down for my first treatment and stayed over the weekend, which was great. She gave me the luxury of being sick and taking care of me as only a mom can. I slept a great deal, became hooked on her favorite TV show, and apologized over and over that I was so crabby. At one point, I was so out of sorts that all I wanted to do was cry, but couldn't even muster the energy to even do that correctly. It was pitiful. A general synopsis of my weekend through Tuesday was tired, crabby, and unwell.
I am doing much better now. I feel like I am back to my regular personality and am observing my mental and physical health with curiosity. I am interested to see how the second treatment goes without all the other "stuff" happening at the same time. I also take my second weekly dosage of 50,000 mg of Vitamin D (I know I don't get alot of sun, but seriously...) on Sunday and will find out if that is what caused the burning in my throat.
I have been told to expect tingling and numbness in my fingers and toes, but this hasn't happened yet. I am also expecting my hair to start falling out pretty soon, but not for another week at the earliest. It is strange to me that these chemicals are still in my body - I keep thinking that they wear off in a day or so and that it's similar to taking cold medicine.
Random thought - "White Rabbit" by Jefferson Airplane has been in my head for a week. Every time I take something - "One pill makes you larger aaaaaand one pill makes you small..." but it's the Tom Petty video that I see in my mind.
Another random thought - Abbot Northwestern should have a loyalty parking program. You know, where you get points every time you park in the ramp. When you get x number of points, you can get a free day of parking or a cup of coffee or some sort of little perk. I'm not saying I want a new Bose stereo or anything, but a cup of Caribou (they have one in the hospital, conveniently by the parking ramp) would be a nice value add. I have a friend, S.B., who works for a great loyalty marketing company - let me know, Abbott, I'd be happy to help make that connection... Just 'sayin.
Carrie
So, to quickly recap. Within a 7 day time frame I had a shot to shut down my ovaries and push me into hot flashes, a surgery to implant a port, a boob fill, and my first chemo treatment. I also took three days of steroids, three days of anti-nausea meds plus a smattering of another anti-nausea med as needed, and a super-human dosage of Vitamin D. I think that's all. The hormone issues, to the best of my knowledge, kicked in on Friday at what I think is the same time as the chemo. I have no way to prove this. However, the result was one. crabby. chica.
I can't even say for sure if my reaction over the first few days was physical or mental. A week out, I am apt to say both as I have no doubt that physically I am noticing differences. On Friday I was generally tired and lazy, but expected to be and gave in easily. Friday night was a different story all together. That was my first bout with the "night sweats" or whatever those evil things are called. I was sweating bullets, opening the window, closing the window, turning on the ceiling fan, turning off the ceiling fan, trying to lay on the dry part of the bed... My aunt had warned me about the hot flashes and that they weren't fun - she swears her eyeglasses fog up when she gets them. I had had night sweats before when I was sick, but this wasn't fun. I feel closer to my aunts now - in fact I feel closer to everyone's aunts for that matter.
The anti-nausea medication they had given me was awesome - I wasn't nauseous. Food wasn't tasting the same - and it didn't have the same appeal - but again I am not sure if that's more mental. The physical certainty I have that chemicals are indeed streaming through my body is that the plumbing isn't working as I have taken for granted. I'm not going into great detail here - I trust you get the point. My skin is also turning against me. I hope it's temporary.
They had also talked in the info sessions about the inside of my mouth becoming sensitive - and this just started last night. The entire inside of my mouth feels very strange - and today it got more pronounced and not quite painful, but uncomfortable. It doesn't really hurt as much as it's just not right. It reminds me of burning the roof of my mouth on pizza and the resulting effects, but without the burn pain and all over rather than just the roof. After I ate lunch, it felt unwell.
(Unwell. This is my new favorite adjective. Kelly was driving me home from surgery last week and she asked me if I was ok. I wasn't sure how to answer that because I wasn't ok, but wasn't not ok. I was struggling to find a word - "Um... I'm... Hmm..." "Unwell?" "Yep. Exactly.")
My mom came down for my first treatment and stayed over the weekend, which was great. She gave me the luxury of being sick and taking care of me as only a mom can. I slept a great deal, became hooked on her favorite TV show, and apologized over and over that I was so crabby. At one point, I was so out of sorts that all I wanted to do was cry, but couldn't even muster the energy to even do that correctly. It was pitiful. A general synopsis of my weekend through Tuesday was tired, crabby, and unwell.
I am doing much better now. I feel like I am back to my regular personality and am observing my mental and physical health with curiosity. I am interested to see how the second treatment goes without all the other "stuff" happening at the same time. I also take my second weekly dosage of 50,000 mg of Vitamin D (I know I don't get alot of sun, but seriously...) on Sunday and will find out if that is what caused the burning in my throat.
I have been told to expect tingling and numbness in my fingers and toes, but this hasn't happened yet. I am also expecting my hair to start falling out pretty soon, but not for another week at the earliest. It is strange to me that these chemicals are still in my body - I keep thinking that they wear off in a day or so and that it's similar to taking cold medicine.
Random thought - "White Rabbit" by Jefferson Airplane has been in my head for a week. Every time I take something - "One pill makes you larger aaaaaand one pill makes you small..." but it's the Tom Petty video that I see in my mind.
Another random thought - Abbot Northwestern should have a loyalty parking program. You know, where you get points every time you park in the ramp. When you get x number of points, you can get a free day of parking or a cup of coffee or some sort of little perk. I'm not saying I want a new Bose stereo or anything, but a cup of Caribou (they have one in the hospital, conveniently by the parking ramp) would be a nice value add. I have a friend, S.B., who works for a great loyalty marketing company - let me know, Abbott, I'd be happy to help make that connection... Just 'sayin.
Carrie
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Busy week
This was a busy week.
On Monday, I met with a personal trainer for help with ideas for stretching out my upper body and catching my lower body up after sitting on my a#^ for a month. She was very kind. My reconstructive surgeon stressed last week that I take 3 more weeks to heal and my trainer ("L" we'll call her) was great about working with what I could do. How sick is this - I didn't even break a sweat, but was limping the next day... go figure. I feel like my upper body is healing well and that my posture and range of motion is coming back. My lower body has no excuse. We haven't set up a schedule yet - but I am motivated to keep my body in shape the best I am able as it will help through the chemo process.
Tuesday, I went in for surgery to have a port put into my upper right chest area for easy access to my veins. It was a full surgery with anesthesia, but I believe the whole surgery took approximately 15 minutes. The doctor said it was a success, which was good to hear. The port is a small box shaped thing about an inch or so square that sits completely under my skin. The doctors are able to access the port directly to draw blood, run chemo, etc., so that I am not continuing to have IVs run into veins every time its needed.
The surgery prep itself was a great example of why a port is a good idea. They tried twice, unsuccessfully, to place an IV in my left arm and finally gave up and moved to the right side. It hurt. Surgery itself was great and I continue to sing the praises of the entire Abbott staff. I wasn't feeling so well that night or the next morning and was sick from the anesthesia, so took anti-nausea medication. I was fine by the afternoon.
Thursday was the day for my second reconstructive visit and chemo session one.
My first stop was at the reconstructive surgeon's office for my second boob expander fill. This time they added 75 cc's to each side, which is more than the 50 they added last time. Again, they feel a bit tight and are very hard, unlike anything I am used to so far in life. I am not scheduled to go back in for another 3 weeks, which is fine by me. I was a C/D cup and always wished that I was either smaller or perkier, so now that I am down to a solid A/B (probably a B after today), I am really enjoying my new profile! They stay where I want them and make me look a bit thinner I have been told! This is great! I will go back to a C eventually, but no rush really - the chemo slows them down anyway so I am going to enjoy the lack of bounce while I can. That was probably "too much information," but you could consider this whole blog to be that, so oh well.
The most exciting part of the week is that I finally got the chemo treatments going. I started taking a steroid yesterday for reactionary purposes, which they gave me also today through an IV and that I will follow up with tomorrow. I received an anti-nausea medication via IV with a prescription to pick up tomorrow for the oral follow up to that. I also have another anti-nausea medication on hand (which I ended up using for the port surgery on Tuesday), so I shouldn't be too sick. They administered all the bags separately thorough my nifty new port and all 5 or 6 bags took approximately 5 hours. I had company there which made the time go by quickly and also feel very comfortable in the room. As I write this, I am tired, but not feeling too bad. I am not sure what to expect over the next few days as it affects everyone differently, so I am curious what my weekend will have in store for me. Either way - one down and five more to go!
Carrie
On Monday, I met with a personal trainer for help with ideas for stretching out my upper body and catching my lower body up after sitting on my a#^ for a month. She was very kind. My reconstructive surgeon stressed last week that I take 3 more weeks to heal and my trainer ("L" we'll call her) was great about working with what I could do. How sick is this - I didn't even break a sweat, but was limping the next day... go figure. I feel like my upper body is healing well and that my posture and range of motion is coming back. My lower body has no excuse. We haven't set up a schedule yet - but I am motivated to keep my body in shape the best I am able as it will help through the chemo process.
Tuesday, I went in for surgery to have a port put into my upper right chest area for easy access to my veins. It was a full surgery with anesthesia, but I believe the whole surgery took approximately 15 minutes. The doctor said it was a success, which was good to hear. The port is a small box shaped thing about an inch or so square that sits completely under my skin. The doctors are able to access the port directly to draw blood, run chemo, etc., so that I am not continuing to have IVs run into veins every time its needed.
The surgery prep itself was a great example of why a port is a good idea. They tried twice, unsuccessfully, to place an IV in my left arm and finally gave up and moved to the right side. It hurt. Surgery itself was great and I continue to sing the praises of the entire Abbott staff. I wasn't feeling so well that night or the next morning and was sick from the anesthesia, so took anti-nausea medication. I was fine by the afternoon.
Thursday was the day for my second reconstructive visit and chemo session one.
My first stop was at the reconstructive surgeon's office for my second boob expander fill. This time they added 75 cc's to each side, which is more than the 50 they added last time. Again, they feel a bit tight and are very hard, unlike anything I am used to so far in life. I am not scheduled to go back in for another 3 weeks, which is fine by me. I was a C/D cup and always wished that I was either smaller or perkier, so now that I am down to a solid A/B (probably a B after today), I am really enjoying my new profile! They stay where I want them and make me look a bit thinner I have been told! This is great! I will go back to a C eventually, but no rush really - the chemo slows them down anyway so I am going to enjoy the lack of bounce while I can. That was probably "too much information," but you could consider this whole blog to be that, so oh well.
The most exciting part of the week is that I finally got the chemo treatments going. I started taking a steroid yesterday for reactionary purposes, which they gave me also today through an IV and that I will follow up with tomorrow. I received an anti-nausea medication via IV with a prescription to pick up tomorrow for the oral follow up to that. I also have another anti-nausea medication on hand (which I ended up using for the port surgery on Tuesday), so I shouldn't be too sick. They administered all the bags separately thorough my nifty new port and all 5 or 6 bags took approximately 5 hours. I had company there which made the time go by quickly and also feel very comfortable in the room. As I write this, I am tired, but not feeling too bad. I am not sure what to expect over the next few days as it affects everyone differently, so I am curious what my weekend will have in store for me. Either way - one down and five more to go!
Carrie
Sunday, November 1, 2009
...And Here We Go...
I had a few interesting appointments last week, so I'll start at the beginning...
Monday I went in for my EKG (which took less than a minute - crazy) and then in for another radioactive injection to dye my bones for the bone scan, of which turned out just fine. According to my doc, all the tests that were done turned out great and there are no concerning spots or enhancements. I was glad to hear this as I had decided not to worry about any of it so as to not waste my time with worry, but then had started to worry that maybe I wasn't worrying enough about the whole thing and began to think that I had bone cancer. I only double-worried for about 3 minutes and then decided against it. Either way - I was happy to hear they were clear... and that I don't have bone cancer.
On Thursday, I went in for my first expander, or "boob," fill, which was cool. They located the valve in the expander with a magnet, then took a huge syringe - like horse vet huge - and stabbed it into the right spot. We then watched my chest expand while the syringe emptied. Very strange, but it didn't hurt. I do feel like the "band" around my chest got a bit tighter, but not painfully so. I'm a bit sore, but in a strange way. Not sure how to verbalize this one without hand motions...
Then on Friday I went back to the oncologist and spent some time with him planning out my next few months. His nurse gave me a flu shot, and also a shot to temporarily shut down my ovaries. As chemotherapy attacks fast growing cells, it can leave women either infertile or at the very least do some damage to the area. Whether or not I choose to have children, I don't feel that I am in a position to make a definitive decision either way this week. So, we're shutting them down. I should expect hot flashes any time now. Super.
The upcoming week is going to be busy - because I get to start Chemo!! Yay!!
Yes, I am actually looking forward to getting this show on the road, as they say. I know it's coming, it's not going away, there's really no getting out of it... so let's just go. I am curious about what it will do to my body and how it will make me feel. I don't know yet how my body will react - but I am hopeful that I can time my new hot flashes with my chemo visits, because that room is pretty chilly...
On Tuesday, I go in for a surgery to have a port put into my upper chest so that they don't have to continue to draw blood and put IVs in my arms. I already have a nice set of bruises and tiny red dots, so while I am looking forward to less digging around, I am not looking forward to the surgery as much. I will be out that same day, but will be put "under." The same surgeon that did my mastectomy will be doing the port, so I feel confident about the surgery itself.
Then Thursday I have my first chemo session and am wondering if picking up a McDonald's QP with cheese meal on the way home is as good of an idea as when I would get my braces tightened in grade school. I'm thinking probably not, but since McD's french fries are more native to my body than air, maybe just a large fry to ward off the potential evil tummy turns. We'll see if I get away with this, as my friend Kelly will be driving me and my chances of getting her to go through that drive through are about as good as dirt.
I am going to do a post of random thoughts one of these days that keep popping in and out of my head regarding this experience, but first have to write them down so I can sound less random.
I can say without flinching that Abbott Northwestern staff, employees, and every single person that I have come into contact with has been absolutely exceptional. They are some of the kindest, most accommodating, wonderful hospital people I have every encountered and make it very easy for me to stay positive and look forward to my appointments. I don't know if hospital recommendations are appropriate or realistic - but I HIGHLY recommend Abbott:)
Later,
Carrie
Oh - and no luck with the dreads yet - but WILL find them somehow, someway on Monday!
Monday I went in for my EKG (which took less than a minute - crazy) and then in for another radioactive injection to dye my bones for the bone scan, of which turned out just fine. According to my doc, all the tests that were done turned out great and there are no concerning spots or enhancements. I was glad to hear this as I had decided not to worry about any of it so as to not waste my time with worry, but then had started to worry that maybe I wasn't worrying enough about the whole thing and began to think that I had bone cancer. I only double-worried for about 3 minutes and then decided against it. Either way - I was happy to hear they were clear... and that I don't have bone cancer.
On Thursday, I went in for my first expander, or "boob," fill, which was cool. They located the valve in the expander with a magnet, then took a huge syringe - like horse vet huge - and stabbed it into the right spot. We then watched my chest expand while the syringe emptied. Very strange, but it didn't hurt. I do feel like the "band" around my chest got a bit tighter, but not painfully so. I'm a bit sore, but in a strange way. Not sure how to verbalize this one without hand motions...
Then on Friday I went back to the oncologist and spent some time with him planning out my next few months. His nurse gave me a flu shot, and also a shot to temporarily shut down my ovaries. As chemotherapy attacks fast growing cells, it can leave women either infertile or at the very least do some damage to the area. Whether or not I choose to have children, I don't feel that I am in a position to make a definitive decision either way this week. So, we're shutting them down. I should expect hot flashes any time now. Super.
The upcoming week is going to be busy - because I get to start Chemo!! Yay!!
Yes, I am actually looking forward to getting this show on the road, as they say. I know it's coming, it's not going away, there's really no getting out of it... so let's just go. I am curious about what it will do to my body and how it will make me feel. I don't know yet how my body will react - but I am hopeful that I can time my new hot flashes with my chemo visits, because that room is pretty chilly...
On Tuesday, I go in for a surgery to have a port put into my upper chest so that they don't have to continue to draw blood and put IVs in my arms. I already have a nice set of bruises and tiny red dots, so while I am looking forward to less digging around, I am not looking forward to the surgery as much. I will be out that same day, but will be put "under." The same surgeon that did my mastectomy will be doing the port, so I feel confident about the surgery itself.
Then Thursday I have my first chemo session and am wondering if picking up a McDonald's QP with cheese meal on the way home is as good of an idea as when I would get my braces tightened in grade school. I'm thinking probably not, but since McD's french fries are more native to my body than air, maybe just a large fry to ward off the potential evil tummy turns. We'll see if I get away with this, as my friend Kelly will be driving me and my chances of getting her to go through that drive through are about as good as dirt.
I am going to do a post of random thoughts one of these days that keep popping in and out of my head regarding this experience, but first have to write them down so I can sound less random.
I can say without flinching that Abbott Northwestern staff, employees, and every single person that I have come into contact with has been absolutely exceptional. They are some of the kindest, most accommodating, wonderful hospital people I have every encountered and make it very easy for me to stay positive and look forward to my appointments. I don't know if hospital recommendations are appropriate or realistic - but I HIGHLY recommend Abbott:)
Later,
Carrie
Oh - and no luck with the dreads yet - but WILL find them somehow, someway on Monday!
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