Of All the Hair I've Lost...

Of all the hair I've lost, I miss my nose hair the most.

They're so useful, those little nose hairs. I've never paid much attention to them - nor have I appreciated how nice mine were. I know there's a small grooming division geared at nose hair - hence nose hair trimmers and scissors - and I have appreciated the fact that I've never needed to groom mine. I guess I can say I thought about that one day after watching a commercial for a nose hair trimmer.

When I lost some leg hair, I was pretty excited. I shave all that off anyway - a convenient quirk. When I lost my head hair, I was less upset than I thought I would be, but still kinda weirded out by the fact that I can compare scalp moisturizer with my friend's grandpa. But I can wear hats and/or wigs to work with that loss. The nose hair loss is another thing entirely. My nose runs all the time now. And they don't currently make fake nose hair that I can put on in the mornings - nor can I walk around with Kleenexes stuck up my nose.

*Sigh* It's the little things...

I DID leave my house today though!! This was an event. I even wore a sweater rather than a sweatshirt. I had to get out of the house for the sake of my sanity, and it went well. I went to the No Coast Craft-o-Rama at the Midtown Global Market, checked out the goods, and had lunch. I packed my hand sanitizer and Kleenexes so I would be prepared to enter a public place with potential cooties.

A quick note on the Midtown Global Market - if you live in the cities, I highly recommend checking it out. It's on Lake St and has a ton of food stands, crafts, global kiosks, live music often, global food shops - it's one of my favorite spots. (They also have free napkins at all their food spots - just as good as Kleenex...)

Overall, I've been feeling much better after my second round of chemo than after my first. I feel that the shot to boost my white blood cell count had a great impact on my ability to handle the treatment. I was more tired to begin with, but didn't get so sick. I was worried about my mouth falling apart again or catching the plague and ending up back in the hospital bubble. So far, so good. I have been much more careful this time as well, which had to help. The company I work for is awesome and allows me the flexibility to work from home as needed, so that has allowed me to stay inside and unexposed. As for the mouth sores, I rinse at least 5 times a day with a baking soda/salt mix and stay away from any food that could irritate it.

I just might be getting the hang of this cancer stuff... Hehehe. At this time last round, I was sitting in the hospital... now I'm sitting in my office! Success!

I did find something strange this week - I'm ok with it now, but it freaked me out at the time. (A quick warning that this may make surgery-queasy people a bit queasy...)

I was putting lotion on my port incision this week and felt what I thought was a small scab, so I figured I will pull it off as is consistent with my impatient healing tendencies. It was really small, though, and wouldn't come all the way off - only the corner. So I grabbed a tweezers and focused in to finish the job. But it still wouldn't budge - and it hurt. I moved in close to the mirror to check it out and noticed that the tiny little scab had frayed.

Frayed.

Like a string.

A string that was sticking out of my chest.

Which meant that it was attached to something in my chest.

I stopped and blinked a few times. I set down the tweezers and then visualized what could possibly be held together by this little string. My vein? The port? My vein to the port? Ugh. Great. What if my vein sprung a little leak because I was pulling on the string? What if the port suddenly came un- port-ed to the place it was port-ed to? Oh my gosh, am I getting a headache? Do people get headaches from leaky veins? I had to sit down.

I came to the conclusion 6 second later that I'm an idiot and it's nothing. But I will think twice before messing with small scabs again.

Random thought: I was watching a TV show on body modification where people get objects implanted under their skin, such as horns and crosses, so that their skin is visibly raised in that shape. My port raises my skin up about a square inch. I wonder if I could convince someone I'm into shaving my head and getting body mods?

Today, I'm dedicating a song to my nose hairs: Cinderella's "Don't Know What You Got ('Till It's Gone)." It's a throw back, I know. But nothing conveys loss like an 80's rock ballad. So here's to you, nose hairs... until we meet again. (sniffle sniffle)

Carrie