It's a good day in cancerland - 'cause I"M CURED!

You read that right - my doc said today that he considers me to be cured!!! I am thrilled! I want to burst into tears and jump up and down, but I'm in the chemo room right now and it seems a bit inappropriate... but I did shed a few happy tears in the waiting room...

I'm live-blogging my final chemo treatment (just kidding, only one submission. I'm not covering an Apple press conference or anything that interesting). But - it's my final chemo treatment and I am so looking forward to getting my energy and brain power back. I've been feeling like I was loosing my mind over the past weeks and my ability to focus has been pretty poor. I asked the nurses a few weeks ago about this mental issue, and they assured me that everything would come back. This implies that it's indeed being lost. At least I'm not crazy for thinking I'm crazy. Every little bit helps.

Today's news
I met with my oncologist today with a list of questions on what happens next and now have a good idea of what to expect. Here's what I found out...

I will continue to come in every three weeks through October for Herceptin, which is a drug that I am currently getting with my chemo treatments, but that isn't a chemo drug in and of itself. It is geared toward the HER2-positive marker that I am positive for. It's a great drug and has had amazing success in treatment over the past 10 years. The side effects are related to heart function, which is where the MUGA heart scans every three months come into play. The results of the last scan were great - even higher than my baseline - so I feel pretty good about that.

In six weeks, I start taking a drug called Tamoxifin, which I will take daily for five years. The side effects to this drug are basically hot flashes. I asked if they will be more intense than the ones I already have, and the doc said they should be about the same. Cool - I can handle that. I will meet with him during this appointment when he gets me started on this drug for a general "what's up."

Doc also said today that he recommends sticking with the Zoladex, which shuts down my ovaries, for a few years - which I am totally fine with. It will protect them through the Tamoxifin, and give me one thing less to worry about.

I will meet with the doctor every three months through October and have MUGA scans at the same intervals. Next year, I will meet with him every 4 months. Years three through five, I meet with him every six. We'll see what happens after that.

I need to make the appointment now with a geneticist to get tested for a gene that lets me know if my chances of ovarian cancer are higher. If so, we'll deal with that as it comes. Worst case scenario is that it's higher, and I'll get those little suckers ripped out too. But, the doc said he would be more concerned if I was triple negative (estrogen, progesterone, and HER2 negative) rather than positive, so I'm less worried about that at this point.

I asked then what it meant to be in remission and how I would know when I was cured. He said that remission doesn't apply to me as it's more geared toward cancers that are expected to act up again in the future. He said that he considers me to be cured as he doesn't expect this to show up again! There is always a chance that it could come back at some time in the future, and at that point it would not be curable, only treatable, but I had him repeat the terms again. Not remission - cured. I am very grateful and lucky - this is not lost on me. I will be grateful and lucky for the rest of my life. Truly.

I'm waiting to set my boob switch-out surgery until I have a better idea of my schedule over the next few months with work and school. I also found out about a crazy new parlor trick which involves a flash light and implants. Way funny - I told the doc about it and he hadn't heard about that one.

Past few weeks:
Sorry I haven't updated my blog for a bit - the last few weeks have been up and down. The fifth treatment seemed to be my worst by far and I know better now than to update my blog when I feel like crap. No good comes of that. I was more tired (which is saying something, because I thought I was tired before...) and my stomach was more sensitive than in the past.

I got a great burst of energy last week Monday - Wednesday and went into work and got as much done as I could. Then, after working late on Wed, I stopped at McD's on my way home and ended up in the ER at 430 in the morning with what I'm pretty sure is a combination of bad food/food poisoning and going through chemo. By the time I got to the ER, I was totally dehydrated and my muscles were cramping up. It wasn't my best showing. And can someone please tell me why I get cute doctors every time I couldn't possibly look worse? I'm not sure I made a good impression as the bald, shaking, cramping, pale girl throwing up my guts.

Also - a HUGE thanks to Kelly for crawling out of bed at 430 in the morning to bring me to the hospital and sitting through all of it with me. There is no way that I will ever be able to really thank her for all that she has done, and continues to do, for me. She's an amazing friend and I am so grateful to have her in my life. If you know her - please tell her she's awesome.

After I was released, I was on a liquid diet for a few days and slept for about 20 out of the next 24 hours. I am feeling much better today and am emotionally boosted by knowing that after the effects of this treatment - it's all uphill!

Random thought - sometimes old, sad, dog's dead and grandma's in a coma country music really is the best medicine. I spent an evening going through old country songs and bawling my eyes out and it felt great. I can compile a list of the culprits, if anyone is ever interested. The most recent recording is probably mid-90s, so beware.

Random thought 2 - I love the feeling of a freshly shaved head. It is so awesome. I'm pretty sure Kilgore's alternate line was, "I love the smell of a freshly shaved head in the morning." It fits.

Random thought 3 - A normal person would probably swear off McD's after a visit to the ER. I was on this train for about 36 hours. However, I acknowledge my strong, complex, almost familial relationship to McD's and quickly got over it. I am giving myself a break from it for awhile, but I could never turn my back on a french fry. Ever.

I'll update again when I'm feeling better after the treatment side effects. I'm planning on heading to Minot for the week to hibernate at my parent's house.

Talk to you later,
Carrie